MikeE
18-03-2006, 21:56
its the newest parody of wikipedia... worth checking out for a laugh:
Paintball
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Playing paintball will give you an extra nipple.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Paintball
Paintball is a sport in which people shoot non-lethal paintballs at one another. Stinging in the skin is non-avoidable and this sport should never be played by anyone under the age of 10 1/3. Championships such as the World Paintball Games, (which used to be called the World Cyber Games who recently in 2005 dropped video gaming competition in favor of paintball after the UN banned games because they were proved to cause infertility). Other many leagues also exist, either on a national scale or a local one.
Paintball is also the national sport of Iraq.
[edit]
Historical Roots
Paintball evolved from earlier games in which participants shot each other with lead or depeleted uranium projectiles. These of course caused splashes of red, pink, and violet matter to appear when a participant got hit.
These earlier games, termed war, had serious and permanent aspects which are missing from modern paintball. However, affluent Americans with leisure time to burn naturally dislike being permanently killed or receiving brain and/or organ damage. They are now willing to pay $200 to $2000 or more for devices which shoot non-lethal plastic balls, hoping that if they thus restrain themselves the opposing team will also use non-lethal weapons instead of real guns.
As far as can be determined, this strategy is successful. Few of the well-off, carefully-equipped paintball players actually bring real guns to the course and shoot their opponents with them.
[edit]
In the Real World
Modern paintball is played mostly in developed nations where the citizens have the wherewithall to play at war. In Somalia, by contrast, paintball is played with assault rifles and .50 caliber machine guns firing actual lead slugs. Anyone within range is considered "in the game" and a fair target. Players are often pronounced dead, and afterward are unable to participate further. In anything, including breathing. In the Congo, those who wish to play war games sometimes lack even firearms, and hack off their opponents arms or heads with machetes. The blood on the knifes are then used to make a delish sauce, as seen on Martha Stewart's show "Those Freakin' Pokemon".
In general, paintball matches in developed countries lack a certain intensity or seriousness that taken for granted by those who play war in third-world nations. The paintballs do indeed produce a stinging sensation on bare skin. Golly, saith the gut-shot Iraqi dying in the gutter, that sure sounds like a serious game all right.
Source: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Paintball
Check it out - there are some hillarious entrys (try searching for "New Zealand" "Brian Tamaki's Nazi Party" and "Cat Huffing")
Paintball
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Playing paintball will give you an extra nipple.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Paintball
Paintball is a sport in which people shoot non-lethal paintballs at one another. Stinging in the skin is non-avoidable and this sport should never be played by anyone under the age of 10 1/3. Championships such as the World Paintball Games, (which used to be called the World Cyber Games who recently in 2005 dropped video gaming competition in favor of paintball after the UN banned games because they were proved to cause infertility). Other many leagues also exist, either on a national scale or a local one.
Paintball is also the national sport of Iraq.
[edit]
Historical Roots
Paintball evolved from earlier games in which participants shot each other with lead or depeleted uranium projectiles. These of course caused splashes of red, pink, and violet matter to appear when a participant got hit.
These earlier games, termed war, had serious and permanent aspects which are missing from modern paintball. However, affluent Americans with leisure time to burn naturally dislike being permanently killed or receiving brain and/or organ damage. They are now willing to pay $200 to $2000 or more for devices which shoot non-lethal plastic balls, hoping that if they thus restrain themselves the opposing team will also use non-lethal weapons instead of real guns.
As far as can be determined, this strategy is successful. Few of the well-off, carefully-equipped paintball players actually bring real guns to the course and shoot their opponents with them.
[edit]
In the Real World
Modern paintball is played mostly in developed nations where the citizens have the wherewithall to play at war. In Somalia, by contrast, paintball is played with assault rifles and .50 caliber machine guns firing actual lead slugs. Anyone within range is considered "in the game" and a fair target. Players are often pronounced dead, and afterward are unable to participate further. In anything, including breathing. In the Congo, those who wish to play war games sometimes lack even firearms, and hack off their opponents arms or heads with machetes. The blood on the knifes are then used to make a delish sauce, as seen on Martha Stewart's show "Those Freakin' Pokemon".
In general, paintball matches in developed countries lack a certain intensity or seriousness that taken for granted by those who play war in third-world nations. The paintballs do indeed produce a stinging sensation on bare skin. Golly, saith the gut-shot Iraqi dying in the gutter, that sure sounds like a serious game all right.
Source: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Paintball
Check it out - there are some hillarious entrys (try searching for "New Zealand" "Brian Tamaki's Nazi Party" and "Cat Huffing")